How I fell down the Rabbit Hole and where I ended

Updated: Mar 27, 2021

Welcome to Nutritional & Holistic Healing with Deedra Helenna!

This story is my driving force, the fire that lit my drive, that inspired me to pursue my passions, this is the chapter that inspired me, the WHY I went out and did the dirty work of becoming a Holistic Nutritionist.


3 years ago in 2018 I was 20 pounds lighter and worked out intensely everyday while eating a very restricted caloric intake diet. I was skinny and fit, all of my life problems were solved right? The truth was I was suffering physically and mentally; battling so many demons in my head, heart and body. But I liked the way I looked in the mirror and I liked the attention it got. So I used that rush to mask my reality that everything around me was crumbling and I was avoiding responsibility.

2018 when I thought to be healthy and happy was to be skinny

Then it happened, my body finally had to start screaming at me to get my attention.

I can’t remember exactly when it started to happen but it was INTENSE! I started to have this gripping pain under my right rib, into my back and left shoulder that left me doubled over and nauseated. It would come in waves. Some would say “text book” gallbladder attack and I was a prime candidate.

I had this discomfort for few days and went to work one morning and within the hour of being at work I had to leave doubled over in pain and went directly to my local emergency department.

Long story short they didn’t find anything. For months I battled this pain on and off. During this time I had 2 abdominal ultrasounds, a gallbladder function test where they inject me with radiation and I have to sit still on a table and not move for 3 hours while they take pictures of the radiation running through my body (p.s my gallbladder is at 93% function & absent of gallstones). I had a chest and back x-ray, breast ultrasounds, tons of blood work, a upper GI scope and referred to a neurologist with multiple needles poked in my back, a CT scan of my head, neck and arteries, multiple appointments with my general practitioner. Also during all this time I ended up taking an ambulance to the emergency for a uncontrollable fast heart rate (225 beat per min to be exact), chest pain and extreme dizziness so had to add that to the list now of specialists, tests to my life as well. More blood work, ECG's and a halter monitor. I felt like I was going insane.

NOTE: The fast heart rate was not related to the pain but was related to my lifestyle and is under-control and was quickly diagnosed and thankfully is minor and hopefully with proper management does not return.

Through all of this this I did not receive a SINGLE ANSWER of what this pain could be, nothing even close to a possibility. I did get answers for the heart issue but that is something for another day!

I was however prescribed pantaloc for suspicion of the pain being “gerd”, a anti-anxiety med and a muscle relaxant in this time to help my “symptoms” as well as referred to a specialist in CBD and THC treatment ( prior to all this being legal). Pills I filled but didn't take because how dare I say no, how dare I ask for more answers. This was their answer but at no time was I ever given a answer to what was happening in my body. Not once did I have an appointment that was longer than 20 minutes top. All I ever got was everything was “normal”. I don't know what is worst finding a answer or being in pain and being told your normal? Both I guess can make you a little crazy, and that is certainly what I was starting to feel for lack of a better word.

So, here we are I believe some time in the new year of 2019 I booked a appointment AGAIN with my then family physician to just discuss other options. I was there for maybe 5 mins and she went through all the testing and what she had sent me for and then I straight up got interrupted while voicing my concerns and got ask “Deedra, and what more would you like me to do?"

I wanted to yell at her to do her fucking job but it wasn't till recently I realized she was doing her job as best as she had been taught in med school. She's never been taught to question her teachings, she doesn't make money that way so what is the point.

I was becoming what health care sees as the “bad” patient standing up for myself, the annoying ones, the ones who cry wolf, the ones who ask questions and don't comply . Trust me I've been a Paramedic for 8 years I know the conversations that occur and cannot say that I have never been a part of one. It happens everywhere.

Like most I took it to doctor GOOGLE 🤫. I really did try to originally stay away from it. I found out there are THOUSANDS of forums in regards to the EXACT symptoms I was experiencing and you know sadly what most of them did? They either dealt with the pain silently, filled themselves with medications or removed their perfectly healthy gallbladders to just see if it would go away! My jaw dropped and my heart cried out for these people. THIS WAS NOT GOING TO BE ME.

After hours on doctor google I came across some information that led to my tipping down into the rabbit hole. I found some science article on the affects of hormones on the gallbladder and how to gallbladder truly functioned. I read about the well known science that the gallbladder is a hormone controlled and influenced organ which is easily affected by sex hormones especially estrogen and progesterone. Please note I NEVER ONCE was I asked about my menstrual or feminine health and hormones during all of this and I am still trying to understand why hormones are so dismissed, missed and mis-treated in todays modern medical world. A discussion for another day I guess.

I then continued to read that a conditioned named estrogen dominance in the holistic world but dismissed in the allopathic world (Blog post coming about that) can increase the cholesterol levels in the gallbladder making it thicker, harder to secret (makes gallbladder work harder) and more prone to developing gallstones! Now, estrogen is a over-bearing bitch and nobody else can do its job when she's raging. Estrogen dominance can also lower progesterone and dominate your luteal phase as well when estrogen should be low. Progesterone affects the filling, emptying and contractility of the gallbladder and is extremely common to have progesterone “attacks” during the luteal phase of your menstrual cycle prior to menstruation. So you get thickened bile with a gallbladder that cannot contract ....a perfect storm for inflammation and pain!


I still don't have the answer to that but that is why I am creating a life of awareness for other people who may be suffering! I fell down a large rabbit hole in the allopathic medical system and landed in a world where I realized we are sick but not all sickness needs a "label" or "diagnosis".

I then decided to track my pain. After the second and third month of my pain being most severe during my luteal phase approximately 7 days exactly before menstruation and when all my other severe PMDD and PMS symptoms always like to show up I had NO DOUBT in my mind that this idea of too much estrogen in my body was the culprit. I talk about about my lifestyle of what I thought was healthy led to this level of dominance in another blog coming soon. So make sure you sign up for my newsletter here!

So I put myself on a estrogen cleanse and by my next cycle my pain was GONE!


It’s funny because I was just saying the other day I need to do a estrogen cleanse my next follicular phase and guess who had a little bit of gallbladder pain today? 🤪

I don’t know why hormones are barely even a topic and dismissed in the medical field for the reasons for symptoms . I’ve yet to discover out why especially when they are somehow involved in almost every body function.

So instead of asking the why’s. I just taught myself all the important who’s and what’s and received certificate as a Holistic Nutritionist so that I may bring this information to other fierce womxn like myself who are tired of suffering in silence for fear of being the “bad patient”.

I hear you, I see you, I’m here for you.






I do not treat, diagnose or cure.

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